Thank you to NetGalley and Chloe Fowler for an ARC of this book. All opinions in this review are my own.
Do you hear that? That is the sound of my heart shattering. I absolutely devoured this book in 24 hours and then sobbed for 30 minutes as I read the last ~15%, then again for 5 minutes as I explained why I sobbed for 30 minutes to my roommate. Ms. Fowler, you did not need to go so hard and rip my heart out like this – I just wanted a nice YA romance book, you know, the whole overcome triumph and adversity for love type of thing, but no, that is not what this is, at all.
This book follows Rainey and Liam as they endure their own heartaches, trying to make tribulations into triumphs, and turning their suffering into joy, finding love and light in darkness. The worst thing that I can say about this book is that it is just painful; there is really very little joy/bright spots in this book, but that isn’t always a bad thing. Sometimes you want a good cry and this book is very realistic of some people’s life & suffering. The writing is a bit different from other books that I have read, but I still appreciated the back and forth views between Rainey and Liam. This book reminds me why I was happy to leave high school, but I still wish that everyone had been happy in the end.
This book is a 5/5 for sure, anything that can make me as invested & emotional as this book did deserves nothing less. I don’t think I will be able to reread it anytime soon (I don’t think my heart can take it) but I am going to keep it in my back pocket for when I need a good cry.
I also had the privilege of interviewing Ms. Fowler and my interview with her is below. You can read more about her on her website at: https://chloefowler.ca/ This is her debut book and I appreciate all of the time she spent working with me. Chasing Fireflies is on sale now!
Q: What is the first book that made you cry?
A: Given I cry at a slightly poignant soap commercial, it’s hard to recall the first book that made me cry. I can, however, tell you the book that made me cry the hardest, and that was Nicolas Sparks’ A Walk to Remember. I needed boxes of tissues to get me through that one.
Q: Does writing energize or exhaust you?
A: Both. When I have a good idea or feel inspired, my brain will be buzzing at the most god-forsaken hours, usually between 2am and 5am. Since I can’t sleep, I usually get up and write, but this comes at the cost of an afternoon slump during which I transform into a zombie that is propelled solely by caffeine and sugar.
Q: Have you ever gotten reader’s block?
A: I am a frequent sufferer of the colloquial ‘book hangover’ after I finish a really good book. It’s as if I have to endure a mourning period to mark the end of the story, and I can’t bring myself to pick up another one for several days.
Q: Do you think someone could be a writer if they don’t feel emotions strongly?
A: I think writing, like any skill, is something that is learned and practiced, and I don’t think feeling strong emotion is a prerequisite for developing those skills. That being said, the best writing captures some truth about the human condition that readers can connect with, and is experienced through emotion, observation, reasoning and rationality. Ideally, you need to understand balance all of these things together in your writing in order to achieve an accurate representation of reality, and not everyone is equally effective in these various spheres. Speaking for myself, I am often at the whim of my emotions more than I would like, and while I can empathize with my characters, and know how they would feel, I also need to understand how they think and perceive, and this doesn’t always come as naturally to me.
Q: Do you want each book to stand on its own, or are you trying to build a body of work with connections between each book? // If you’re planning a sequel, can you share a tiny bit about your plans for it?
A: Eventually, I would like to build a body of work in which my books are loosely connected, but not necessarily sequential, like the beloved and much debated Pixar Universe where fans speculate over the connections between characters in different stories. However, I also don’t want to limit myself by audience or genre. I would like to write adult thrillers, children’s fantasy and everything in between. Presently, I am planning a follow up novel to Chasing Fireflies, but it won’t involve Liam or Maverick, rather one or two of the secondary characters. I’ll leave it at that, as I wouldn’t want to ruin the surprise!
Q: If you could tell your younger writing self anything, what would it be?
A: Brace yourself. Writing – especially publishing – is not for the faint of heart. And don’t be afraid to experiment.
Q: What’s your favorite under-appreciated novel?
A: I really loved Across the Nightingale Floor by Lian Hearn. It was a beautiful story set in ancient Japan. The writing was spare but evocative and it had everything I loved, from adventure to doomed love. I’m a sucker for that stuff – a shameless romantic.
Q: How many unpublished and half-finished books do you have?
A: Six or seven at least! Most of them are historical fantasies, though I did churn out a thriller romance during one Nanowrimo several years back. Most of them are so terrible I want to forget they exist, but I can’t bring myself to throw them out because each of them took considerable time, effort, sweat and tears.
Q: What does literary success look like to you?
A: Receiving a note from a reader, telling me that my book touched them, or meant a lot to them. Even if only one person does this, it makes the book a success. There is no greater feeling in the world.
Q: If you didn’t write, what would you do for work?
A: Alas, writing is not my bread and butter. I try to write in the early morning, or on the weekends – basically whenever I can sneak the time – while also juggling a full 9-5 job (I am a department administrator at the University of Calgary). Eventually, I would like to be a full time writer, but that is a luxury I currently can’t afford!
Q: Do you read your book reviews? How do you deal with bad or good ones?
A: I actually discussed this in a recent blog post! (LPP Note: https://chloefowler.ca/2021/10/12/criticism-and-how-to-respond/)Reviews are fundamental to a writer’s success, and criticism can be extremely beneficial when it’s constructive. However, that doesn’t make a bad review easy to swallow – I’ve had a few myself, from people who didn’t like the ending, and that is totally fair. I like to keep in mind that literature (and art in general), is subjective, and therefore you are bound to have people who love your book, and people who hate it. You simply can’t please everyone. The best you can do is please yourself, learn, and try not to take it too personally.
Q: Do you hide any secrets in your books that only a few people will find?
A: The password to Chase’s phone spells Alice, the name of his mother, who suffers from dementia and can’t even recognize him. This small detail exposes the otherwise invisible reality of the excruciating emotional pain Chase endures, loving a mother who doesn’t know him.
Q: What was your hardest scene to write?
A: The scene in which Liam confronts his mom and reproaches her for her weakness and failure as a mother. It is a conversation fraught with emotion in which he expresses his frustration and anger. It was difficult because I – and I’m sure some readers – wanted desperately for his mother to wake the hell up, but I couldn’t force that. She spent years as a victim, and in that moment, under the strain of losing yet another husband, it is highly unlikely she would have had the strength to face the truth and admit her weakness.
Q: What is your favorite childhood book?
A: The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster.
Q: How long on average does it take you to write a book?
A: Because I’m not a full-time writer (*sigh), writing a book can take anywhere from two months to two years. It all depends on everything else I have going on in my life. I also like to take breaks between drafts – for several weeks, if possible – so I can come back to a manuscript with fresh eyes.
Q: Are you a plotter or a pantser?
A: I am most assuredly a plotter. I can’t function without a plan! Starting a book without a compressive plan for me is like setting out across the ocean on a paddle board. I’m going to get lost and eaten by sharks.
Q: Which of the characters do you relate to the most and why?
A: I relate most to Rainey, if I’m being honest. I was lucky to grow up in a very comfortable, loving home, and when you’re young, it’s easy to take that for granted, and to assume that’s the norm. I remember the feeling of culture shock I had when I discovered that my experience was a privilege. However, I think I have a bit more of Maverick’s joie de vivre. I have a drawer of colorful fuzzy socks that would definitely get the Maverick-stamp-of-approval, and I love baking.
Q: How do you celebrate when you finish your book?
A: I celebrated by pouring myself a double whiskey, neat. I’m partial to Macallan single malt. I might have also blasted S.O.B by Nathaniel Rateliff and had a solo dance party in my kitchen. Luckily there were no witnesses.
Q: Do you prefer ebooks, printed books, or audiobooks most of the time?
A: I have to say, I’m a print book kind of gal. I love the smell and texture of a book in my hand, but for long drives, audiobooks are the way to go. My dad used to read to my sister and I almost every night while we were growing up, so being read to is very comforting and nostalgic.
Q: What are your favorite series or series authors?
A: I am a massive fan of Jacqueline Carey’s Kushiel Series.